How does one find themselves?
I’ve been out of the U.K. for 6 weeks now and I’m completely loving this travelling lifestyle. However before I left, I left with the fear that 1) I was far too old to be doing this right now, 2) that I wouldn’t get on with anyone on either my tour or at my fitness camp and 3) I wouldn’t ‘find myself’ like everyone professes to do when they go away for a period of time.
And ok, so I haven’t found myself or figured out what ‘finding myself‘ actually means, but I’m thinking maybe, just maybe I was never lost to begin with!? Who knows… But what I have learnt so far on this journey is a lot, so I thought I’d share as I’ve not posted for a while now.
Well for one I’m definitely not ‘too old’. Yes it’s true I’ve met a lot of younger travellers but I’ve also met older ones… And you know what I’ve realised , age doesn’t matter when you’re away from home doing this, what matters most is your ability to communicate, smile and make new friends. There are people I’ve met on my S.E. Asian adventure that are 10-15 years younger than me, who’ve had experiences you won’t believe, they’re mature, kind, sweet, caring, fun and there are so many similarities that bring us together. Then there are others who are the same age or older who are very different to me, not in a good or bad way… Just different and people I wouldn’t choose hang out with. Out in the big wide world, your bodies age really doesn’t matter… Ok, so my knees hurt more than the 20 something after a workout but other than that, no matter at all.
I’ve made friends for life. These are some of the most incredible people I’ve met, and I will be seeing them again. I know I could definitely travel with them anytime and now I have so many more places to visit just to see my new set of travelling friends. You meet people out on your travels and they’re so like minded that you feel as if you’ve known them a lifetime already.
I hate drama. I knew that already, but leaving my own and other people’s drama behind in the U.K. has done me the world of good. I just don’t have the mental capability to deal with drama and issues, boyfriend issues, mental issues, who’s pissed at who drama, who’s not invited someone to where drama etc. Drama is everywhere, don’t get me wrong there’s drama out here too but I avoid it, it does nothing for me. Some people thrive on it, me personally… I’m just chilling.
You can’t go travelling and be an opinionated mo-fo! Why? Because people are different, they don’t want your opinions on what you think about Koh Phi Phi or anything else, they want to experience it themselves and make their own judgements. You won’t do yourself any favours or make any friends if your opinions over power conversations. What you want to do is have discussions and conversations, because we’re still going to go there whether you hate it or not!
Life is short. It really is… And because it’s so short, you need to “follow your bliss”. Whatever that is, whether it’s travelling, building a new business, having babies, changing career… Whatever it is do it now, you never know when your moment is over. It’s never too late to do anything you want.
I wish I’d done this earlier… I know we don’t want to live in the past, and I’m not… But I do wish that I’d had the courage to go away much earlier in life. I’ll be encouraging my little sister and my kids (when I have them) to spend an extended period travelling earlier in life. And by earlier I don’t mean 18 or 19 I mean mid to late 20’s… When you’re aware of the world, mature and have a good head on your shoulders.
I don’t want to sit at a desk for the rest of my life. So, I haven’t quite figured out what I want to do, but at least I know what I don’t. So now I’m going to focus on finding what it is I want to do… You know I may travel for a bit longer, or go work abroad, who knows… I mean financially I may even need to go back to a ‘desk job’ for a bit (at the end of the day I need to look after myself as no one else will)… But it won’t be forever.
I’m so ready to meet the right guy. I believe he’ll come along… It’s just not yet been the right time. I’ve also learnt exactly the kind of relationship I want and I’ve learnt that from my new 21 year old Danish friends. I’ve never come across such a perfect couple, who even after 4 years together take nothing for granted… I can see these guys together forever… And I want that kind of love in my life.
Finally I’ve learnt that traveling solo is one of the best experiences someone could have. It puts you out of your comfort zone and makes you work harder at meeting people. I mean, who wants to eat dinner alone every night … Not me! You just have to go for it, and when you do you won’t regret it. And you’ll never be alone… Unless you lock yourself up in your room!
Yes, you may have to stay in a hostel or 2 to meet people but do what I did, stay for a few days then either move to a private room or a move to a hotel down the road. But make plans with your hostel crew before you leave. Or, even join a tour group like GAdventures who don’t charge single person supliments. I chose do travel through Vietnam and Cambodia with them and shared with a lady called Christine from Canada and had so much fun. If you don’t want to share you can always pay a little extra to have your own space too. Whatever you do, if you can you should try and travel solo even if just for a weekend… It’s an experience like no other.
Anyway best get back to training camp… More on Titan Fitness Phuket in my next blog post.