The Story of (FOM) O… And an eleven pound (unnoticed) weight gain!
So I’ve never really thought I had FOMO until I sat with Andy Intel Train one Saturday afternoon at BoxBellFit. (He’s become a bit of a sounding board for me recently, which I’ve really needed without actually realising).
If you’re unaware of what FOMO is it’s the ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ and you know what, I have this or… I did.
If you know me, you know I love to socialise, to go out to an amazing restaurant, drink at a fab new bar, go to new places on Time Out Londons top 10 list, try new activities, try new food and finally hit up every single place to eat in London that’s on my personal list I keep on my iPhone! I basically love new experiences and flavours… But it’s my fear of missing out on a new experience that’s made me gain weight… how you may ask? Because I became a ‘yes’ person and filled my diary with lots of fun stuff which mainly revolved around food!
The last 3 months of 2016 were incredible, I went to the Pergola on The Roof, Kensington Roof Gardens, Sushi Samba (I LOVE a roof garden!), I’ve managed to organise and attend 3 boozy brunches: Dirty Bones, Aqua Kyoto, The Avenue (I would consider myself a Boozy Brunch Connoisseur!). I attended 4 Christmas parties, caught up with friends over Sunday lunches and Saturday dinners, I’ve had so many birthdays to go to (mine included) and have ended up drinking a lot of wine and champagne…
Without realising I started fearing that I’d miss out on fun if I said no… So I just said yes and actually it was only to my detriment and no one else’s. Ok.. so that is a bit harsh as I had an amazing time and ate incredible food… but I ended up 11lbs up (that’s 11lbs further away from my goal) and £’S (I don’t quite know how many) down.
That’s the thing with being a social bunny; In this day and age socialising is more than likely going to involve food/drink and maybe a little dancing! (Yes I say dancing and not clubbing… yes I’m getting old!)
But after a long chat with Andy (who actually make sense sometimes ?) I realised that I don’t constantly need to say yes, and strive for an amazing life because actually my life is pretty darn good! I don’t need to constantly fear that I’m missing-out because I didn’t make-it-out, that wasn’t involved in certain conversations so I won’t know what’s going on, that people are having fun without me or that I didn’t get to taste certain foods at a fabulous restaurant that one time! I mean… that restaurant or bar will always be there, and if it’s not I’m sure a new or better one will be… and one day I may even go and experience it!
It’s ok to stay in on a Friday night with a home cooked meal and a movie. It’s ok to meet friends for a coffee or green tea and catch up… I mean, it’s all about catching up and good conversation at the end of the day.
There is always going to be someone out there who’s doing something I’m not and I cannot fear that because I’m not doing that, or going there or eating/drinking-that, that I’m missing out … because it’s my experiences that matter not everyone else’s. I’ve decided to stop saying yes unless I really want to go and stop thinking I’m missing out if I say no!
As much as I love eating out with friends, I’ve made it a pact with myself to find new activities to do when I catch up with them rather than just eat! The great thing is that there is so much out there… like trampolining, rock climbing, pottery, Wakeboarding, aqua parks, long walks, horse riding and the best one is… working out it’s both healthy and fun (and you’re making room for that coffee or maybe that cake post workout!).
That 11lbs gain will ‘get lost’ soon, I know that… so I’m not going to let it get me down. Instead I’m going to look forward to the new experiences I’m about to gain as I head off into the big wide world for 3 months of travelling. I think leaving the UK behind for a while will help me to gain a new perspective on my life. I definitely won’t have time for FOMO whilst I’m away… but maybe you’ll have some if you follow my travels… ooops ?.
So let me leave you with this: be more mindful of what you say ‘Yes’ to, only do the things you really REALLY want to, and when you do say ‘No’ say it with pride, gusto and belief that’s it’s the right decision for you so you don’t feel the FOMO when you see that post on Facebook or Instagram!
Finally here’s a little quote from sense talking Andy taken from a Twitter conversation we had
‘@ush.push in chasing an image of the perfect life, it’s so easy to miss that life is already great x #bemindful #mindfulness’
On that note, be mindful and stay true to who you are.